I will get to Italy...as God is my witness. Who knows...the fam might come home one evening to find a note saying "arrivederci" don't wait up...I'll be back when I damn well please. In the mean time...I settle for reading books about Italy( I read Eat, Pray, Love twice) ...movies about Italy (too numerous to count). The thing I want to see most when I embark on my adventure is Michelangelo's "David". The pictures I have seen leave me breathless...he is what I truly consider physical perfection at its most...well...perfect-est. Not to mention the amazing gift of the sculptor who was an absolute genius with marble. My parents went to Italy about 15 years ago. They came home with loads of pictures...none of them were labeled, so explanations of them sounded something like this..."Oh..Kazy...this is where Sophia Loren lives" ( at this point a confused expression replaces the one of excitement)...Oh wait...maybe this is the Pope's apartments"...One thing my Mother never forgot was when she first saw "David"...she knew exactly where he was...the best time of day to see him...and at what angle he looked his "very best". She said that of all the things she saw in Italy on that trip, he was the most beautiful and the most unforgettable. A friend of mine was going on a trip to Italy. I said to her, probably with tears in my eyes..."promise me Marie...that you will look at David for me....look closely...at every curve and angle....memorize him...and then bring it back to me." I'm sure this was all done quite dramatically...my hands clutching hers...me screaming.."Promise me Marie !!! Promise me !!! So...Marie gallivants off to Italy...I go to work in Blackfoot... help with pap smears, catch vomit in mid-air and clean out ears.
After church on Sunday...Marie rushes over and hands me the cutest, sweetest, little statue of David....I almost burst out in tears. It is perfect... he is perfect.....I hugged her... thanking her profusely...
Once at home, I carefully cut off the plastic wrapping that surrounded him, and tried to decide what place of honor he should hold in my home. I tried several different places...not really satisfied. Then the girls see it. You would have thought I had a 4 foot penis, right there in the kitchen ,trying to hang it on the wall. They were totally disgusted. I tried to explain the artistic value of this statue...how life like he is...how famous "David" is...as well as Michelangelo...I suggested that maybe instead of reading the "Clique" books, they should read the "Agony and the Ecstasy"...and maybe we could read it as a family and all of us could learn to appreciate the magnificence of this small statue that had just entered our home. I set it on the window sill of my kitchen. As many of you know...I don't spend a lot of "quality time" in the kitchen...but I pass through a lot....so I thought it would be the perfect place. I awake the next morning, and to my horror...find this....
Someone put a skirt on David...and an ugly napkin skirt!!! It's "David" for hells sake...If you're going to dress him...it should to be nothing less than Armani!! Michelangelo said..."The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection..." In time, I'm sure whomever put David in a skirt will learn to appreciate what the entire world as known since 1504. In the meantime...he will stay on my window sill...reminding me that someday, I will need to start learning Italian.
2 comments:
First off if I looked like that naked and was hung like David I'd run around naked all the time too. Second I can't believe anyone that came from your loins would be embarrassed by this statue. Hahaha! Great post, maybe it was Matt that covered him up. If that statue was in my house I'd be worried that I would suffer by comparison, it would make me way self conscious. Well maybe you can get him a Venus de Milo, she has a pretty nice rack and you could put them side by side. It would be like your own little porn window sill. Hahaha. Nice post though!
Ok....you started my day off with the laught that turns weezy! Then Stacy said, "breath MOM" I then had to explain it and showed her David's skirt. To dang funny!!!
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